Sitting on one's bed munching on a mince pie and sipping a glass of some sort of sparkling berry juice type thing from Aldi (tis lovely actually), whilst staring down the dog and telling him there's no way in hell he's getting some of aforementioned pie, all to the tune of one of the best versions of one's favourite Christmas carol : recipe for bliss, don't you think? I have had a marvellous Christmas, I am happy to say. All out war with my brother was successfully avoided, and we made it to his mother-in-law's for dinner with minimum disaster ensuing. The dinner was sublime, the desserts were even more so, and Santa was very generous to all the good boys and girls, both young and old. The only thing to go wrong was that everyone managed to forget to buy Christmas crackers. I think this is my first Christmas in living memory without them. It's...bizarre!
I love Christmas, I have to admit. However, anyone that knows me is sure to dread this time of year with me, as it invariably leads to several grumpy outbursts on the topic. Words like "commercialisation" and "ruined" tend to come up a lot. Yes folks, I am one of those people who goes around grumbling about the true meaning of Christmas being lost in this modern world. I also have the gall to suggest that the main point, the most important thing, about Christmas is the birth of Jesus Christ. (Christ-mas? Geddit? Clever eh?) I had the interesting experience this year of being accused not once but twice of "indoctrinating" my six year old nephew by telling him that the birth of Jesus was the most important thing about Christmas. The first was by a good friend taking the piss, and wasn't serious. But the second guy was. He is what I would affectionately dub an Atheist Fundamentalist. He seemed quite annoyed at my suggestion to an "impressionable child" that Jesus ranked slightly ahead of Santa on the Christmas Top Ten. I didn't say Santa wasn't an extremely important individual. He's like the Vice President of Christmas Inc, and Jesus is the CEO. I mentioned this once to the child. His reluctant attendance at Mass was his (not overly religious, I might add) mother's doing, not his apparently over zealous aunt. Now does that count as indoctrination? Perhaps the chap should get the benefit of the doubt for not actually knowing me that well, being more of a friend-of-a-friend. I politely pointed out that seeing as Jesus is as much of a fairy-tale as Santa in his eyes, where's the harm?
Anyone who does know me on a slightly personal level would know that I am far from the indoctrinating type. I would make a positively useless fundamentalist, to be frank. I follow the line of a good priest friend and spiritual mentor of mine that Christianity is something you're attracted to, not persuaded by. I have no interest whatsoever to converting my numerous atheistic and agnostic friends to Christianity. I'm sure in the eyes of fundamentalists and some conservatives this makes me a horrendously uncaring individual, and only serves to prove my own degeneracy and lack of true faith. I'm not saying spreading the good news is a bad thing. Chasing people down the road and battering them over the head with it isn't right though. I have no problem bearing witness to the faith. I have no shame admitting I believe in God and that I love Him. I love talking at length about faith and spiritual matters. I just know how to respect when others don't. Unfortunately this leads to me being accused of being too sympathetic to non-believers and people of other faiths, which compromises my commitment to the faith. Which is odd, because several others accuse me of pandering too much to conservative elements in Christianity, even though I say I don't agree with their positions. I guess that leaves me somewhere in the middle-of-the-road then?
What others see as pandering I see as respect and objectivity. As I've tirelessly argued, this does not amount to acquiescence or lack of conviction. The whole Christmas thing is an example of this. I am unwavering in my conviction that the Nativity is the central theme and most important aspect of Christmas. I baulk at this PC American "Happy Holidays" rubbish. I'm sorry, Christmas is a Christian holiday (queue smart arse pointing out it was originally pagan. Well pagans are free to celebrate the original if they want!). And the Nativity is an irrevoccable part of it. I am all for respecting other faiths and traditions, but I'm not going to water down my own religious festivals. And I am interested to know how many Jews or Muslims or whoever are actually that horrendously offended by the sight of a Christmas tree and a few decorations in public, anyway? Our neighbour is an Iraqi Muslim and I didn't see him keeling over in disgust at the sight of my sis in law's lights outside. He wished me a happy Christmas this morning, just like I wished him Eid Mubarak a few months ago. Fair enough, if someone's not Christian then maybe refrain from wishing them a Merry Christmas, but if you slip up I'm sure it won't cause mortal offence.
I am thankfully less self-righteous than I used to be though. There was a time when I quite annoyed at non-religious people celebrating Christmas. I saw this as a disgraceful, hypocritical, and just plain wrong. I (wrongly) assumed that these people were all just interested in the consumerist element of Christmas if they weren't religious. (Hey what can I say, I was a teenager suffering a spiritual crisis and exposed to a lot of American televangelism.) This view was challenged by a good friend a few years ago, who got quite angry at me for saying people who didn't believe in God shouldn't celebrate Christmas. I think he calls himself an atheist these days, but anyway, he isn't a religious person. His mother is and I think they do the Mass thing at Christmas, but let's say they don't, and take it from his perspective. He is rather fond of Christmas, and he explained to me why. He told me of how much it meant to him to spend time with his family at Christmas. They have lots of "silly" little traditions, including an adorable one involving their dad reading "The Night Before Christmas" to them on the upstairs landing, despite them being bone fide adults now. I grabbed him on gchat for a soundbite update for 2009 just now:
"it's a chance to catch up with the family. Something that I've only realised the true importance of since escaping to college. It gives you the chance to spend a week or two of just hanging out with the people who mean most to you. And then there are presents. The presents help you block out the not so pleasant family moments."
So after that my self-righteous attitude to Christmas and those who celebrate it were suitably humbled. In fact most of my righteous indignation these days is directed towards fellow Christians rather than the unbelieving. I have since acquired more heathen friends, and have observed more deeply family-centred thought around Christmas celebrations. And I have no objection whatsoever to these people celebrating Christmas anymore. They may not give the Nativity the central importance it deserves, but they celebrate the second most important part of Christmas: love and family. Christmas is a time for family and friends to gather together and celebrate. Quite a few Christians I know fail on that one, no matter how long they spend in Church on the day.
So I guess my main gripe with modern Christmas is correctly identified as the rampant commercialism rather than the spiritual orientation of those who chose to celebrate it. Like I said earlier, I love Christmas, but I love it from about December 20th onwards. I do not love being bombarded by Christmas in the shopping centres from about five minutes after the Hallowe'en decorations are back in the box. I do not like being run over by some poor stressed out mother with a crazed look in her eyes trying to run around the shops trying to find the latest ridiculously overpriced toy that Nickelodeon has brainwashed her child into wanting (seriously-there is a post in me somewhere on advertising on children's networks). Which she has probably left to the last minute to but because she only successfully managed to secure herself a massive debt to pay for now. It may sound employing hyperbole for effect, but believe me, I've known mothers who've had to get loans to keep up with the demands of Christmas expense these days. And they're not particularly materialistic people, they just want to give their children as good as everyone else. And much as people like me might "indoctrinate" the young ones, Santa still has massive sway with them. Not that I'm blaming the kids for one minute! Santa and presents are a hugely important part of Christmas. I'm blaming the media and "gimme gimme gimme" culture they live in. Christmas has become "what can I get" day. Children can be forgiven, but adults should know better. The amount of people I have heard bitching because they got presents they didn't like, or weren't good enough. This positively infuriates me. What happened to the thought counting? I know, you're probably scoffing at my naivety at this point. What can I say, I'm very traditional about some things at heart. We all know getting gifts for even those we know can be a horrendously difficult experience that would drag the most sturdy to drink. I nearly went bald from tearing my hair out over my brother, and I've known him the entire twenty four years on the planet. I'm not saying we all have to like all our gifts. I hold my hand up and say I have returned something in the past. However, I appreciated the fact I was given a gift in the first place. And I did not make it blatantly obvious to the person that I had no interest in the thing whatsoever. I'm sorry, but to display displeasure to someone with the gift they have just given you is plain rude.
You know what present I am most excited about this year? My friend sent his old 30gb ipod classic away to be repaired so he could give it to me. He's bought a new one and doesn't need it. I am like any six year old waiting for Santa, I can't wait! He said he felt bad giving me a second hand gift, as he's ok for money and could afford to buy me one, but I had expressed interest in buying it off him so would it be ok for him to give it as a gift, as he thought it's what I would like most. I am ecstatic! Not least because my current MP3 player is in such a state of wreckage that it's a wonder I haven't been electrocuted, even though it's battery operated. What most struck me is the fact he thought of me. I know people personally who would be horrifed; who would think he is a cheap so-and-so to give me his "cast offs". I think it's a wonderful idea, and have demanded he visit me tomorrow to give it to me. I'm not trying to make myself out to be some sort of saint. I've been disappointed with gifts (though not this year I must say!). But a gift is not an estimation of your worth to the person. No matter how well they know you, they might not be able to think of what you really, truly, would-sell-your-mother-for want. They were thinking of you all the while they were sweating blood to get it, doesn't that bloody matter?
I probably sound like some sort of pious twat of a grinch by now. Well, I'm not. I do love Christmas, secular warts and all. I just wish people would reorganise their priorities. Tis the season for what? For celebrating the birth of our Lord, first and foremost. Many won't agree with me on that, but just bear with me. It's not often I have an unshifting position on matters religious. Well actually I have many, but I just handle myself better than many Christians. Anyway, tis the season to celebrate the Nativity. And tis also the season for love, family and friends. Even if they drive you bonkers and you want to kill them, there is nothing more lovely than sitting across from your brother Christmas day trying to resist the urge to dump bread sauce over his head as he takes the piss out of you for going to Mass.
This last bit is for the fellow Christians, so the rest of you might want to skip along. ;) Speaking of Mass, it happens to be my favourite part of Christmas. Especially as the church where I live now has a proper (read: traditional) choir. My favourite carols are the aforementioned O Holy Night and Adeste Fideles. However, the one carol which I always fail to finish singing every year because I choke up is this. It was the first one I remember learning as a child, but also I think the second half of the second verse and the third just sum it all up really. A simple, childlike request, untainted by the politics of "grown-up" religion. Beautiful.
And on that note folks, I shall end the rather long sermon and leave you to enjoy the rest of Christmas, whatever your take on it.
PS: Excellent article from one of my favourite blogs here
