Community Alert Area...

I am currently sitting in the garden with a nice cup of coffee, watching the brother's dog manically running around after her ball, while my cranky aul fella sits there eyeing her with the contempt and disdain only a 9-and-a-half year old Cavelier King cross could muster. The wind is whistling gently through the trees, and the clouds' threats appear to be empty thus far. It is a truly peaceful and zen-like experience. Well it would be, apart from the godforsaken alarm screeching at me from across the road, piercing my brain like a searing hot poker. It has been blaring for about thirty minutes now. It's not even a car alarm, it's one of those shrill burglar alarms. Listening to this infernal din has led me to ask myself: does anybody actually take a blind bit of notice of these things? Think about it. Anytime you hear a burglar alarm, or a car alarm, or even a fire alarm going off, do you think twice? Does anyone feel inclined to investigate if they hear the electronic wailing eminating from their neighbour's car/house? I don't think so. Now 9 times out of 10 it's a false alarm anyway. Just the other day, my friend somehow managed to set off a car alarm by sending a text message while walking past it. No seriously. The hypersensitivity of these things is perhaps necessary, but it does lead to a spot of cry wolf syndrome, which leaves them blatantly ignored.

Or is it that we just don't care? That's what I'm currently pondering, as I try in vain to concentrate hard enough on this post that I may enter a trance-like state, thus eliminating the painful racket (it's not working by the way). It brings me back to the individual versus community idea. Coming from a small enough town, where everybody knows everybody and 90% of the population can be traced back to the same two families, I have always tended to rail against the oppression of "community". The thought of small towns and the militant officials of the Curtain Twitching brigade repulses me. It's not so much Big Brother as Mrs Murphy is watching, but at least Big Brother is invisible, therefore can't tut disapprovingly at you while on her way to tell Bridie and Agnes all about your shenanigans. I love the idea of living in cities. I like the anonymity. I am a bit of a lone wolf by nature, valuing my own space and privacy. I like to be left alone to go about my business, and pay the same courtesy to others.

So privacy, anonymity and individualism are a good thing. Thing is, like all good things, you can have too much of it. Yeah we all need space and privacy, some more than others perhaps. However the general consensus about human beings is that we are social creatures, even cantankerous old sods like me. We need other people, a community, to survive. It goes beyond the social aspect. Back to the screeching alarms. Yes it's usually a false alarm, but what if it wasn't? The point is, we generally don't even bother to check. The drawback to being left to go about your business is that you're left to it all the time. Some social conservatives would happily tell us that the idea of community is well and truly dead, thanks to the evils of sex drugs and rock and roll. Nobody gives a damn about anyone else anymore, and we all gladly leave each other to rot, once it doesn't impact on us. While most extreme social conservatives are reactionary and slightly hysterical by their very nature, you have to admit they have a point.

We generally don't care anymore. If we walk down the street and see someone harassing somebody, will we stop to help? Not bloody likely. I remember being in Mass once and reading an article in the newsletter where the priest asked us to go and visit elderly people in the area who would be alone at Christmas. How many of us would actually bother to do such a thing? Very few. We're far too busy, of course. But how much time would it actually take? Even half an hour would probably make some old lady's entire day. Just calling to the door to check in on them would probably suffice. I hate small towns and interfering busybodies as much as, if not more than, the next person. But as with almost everything in life, we are generally in danger of throwing out the baby with the bath water. It doesn't have to be individual versus community; it can be individual and community. We can have our privacy and freedom to live life without interference, and still have time to give five minutes to consider our fellow human beings, surely?

Identity crisis...

Seeing as the theme of this week seems to be the notion of "identity", I've decided to have a stab at exploring mine. I suppose the first question to be considered is "What is identity?". Me, being the pedantic Anglophile that I am, decided to look for a specific definition to start with. The Oxford English Dictionary has this to offer:

identity

• noun (pl. identities) 1 the fact of being who or what a person or thing is. 2 the characteristics determining this. 3 a close similarity or affinity.

So for the purposes of the exercise at hand, I think 1 and 2 are the most relevant. So one needs to consider the fact of being who or what a person is, and the characteristics which determine this. An exercise which is far easier in theory than practice, I have discovered...

So what is me? What is the essence of my being? What defines me? In short, who AM I? I struggled to find a simple or definitive answer. Which is a good thing, because I don't think it is a simple or definitive question. In my struggle to overcome my effective writer's block on the situation, I began to formulate what is essentially a list of adjectives to describe myself. What is interesting is what happens when I begin to consider how important each is to my perception of my own identity.

Well I suppose the first logical thing that is noticeable about me is I am a woman. As soon as I open my mouth it becomes abundantly clear that I'm Irish. And therefore, I am by default European. I am also gay. I consider myself to be a religious person, specifically Christian. Until recently, I would have narrowed that down to Catholic; however that is currently under revision. Hmm, maybe I'll bore you with that next...

Anyway, the were some of the main factors I could come up with for defining identity. The appear to be areas such as gender, nationality, nationality, religion and sexual orientation. Other things I could come up with seemed to correspond more closely with personality traits. Not being a completely narcissistic individual, I did ask for feedback from friends. The list they and I came up with is as follows:

*Intelligent,
*Religious,
*Talkative,
*Caring,
*Friendly,
*Open-minded
*Strong principles, but respects others
*Respectful
*Good listener
*Kind
*Smart
*Tolerant
*Good friend
*Sees all points of view in argument

Those adjectives would describe accurately describe my personality, I believe. But is personality the same as identity? Perhaps so. A friend who blogged on this subject recently said he believed the two were not mutually exclusive (http://stephenspillane.com/blog/). I would be inclined to agree. In fact, I think identity probably influences our personality, and therefore our beliefs and actions. Take me for example (well I'm not exactly qualified to speak for anyone else, am I?). Taking the factors I identified (ha, see what I did there) earlier in order, I evaluated their relevance to my identity as I see it. So first of all, there was gender. I am a woman. No denying that. But the key question I had to ask was: Is being a woman important to me? It is a fundamental part of who I am. I identify as female, in so far as I don't identify as male. What I mean is, I don't feel being a woman is the most important thing about me, but to say it isn't a defining factor would be ridiculous. I don't see myself as being either inferior or superior to my male counterparts. I wholeheartedly support equality, but wouldn't consider myself exactly feminist. That's where I feel identity impacts on personality and beliefs.


Next on the list was nationality. Yes, I am Irish. Again, I had to ask: is this important to me? I quite like being Irish, no doubt about it. However, I have often gotten in trouble with friends and exes alike for being too fond of the Brits. I'll admit it: I am a self confessed Anglophile. I love English culture, language, literature, humour, comedy, you name it. Do I approve of the colonisation and plantation of Ireland? No I don't. Do I feel that Ireland has a right to sovereignty? Yes I do. Do I think the "800 years of oppression" Brit-bashing of some Irish people today is ridiculous? Yes, I most certainly do. Find me one person in Britain alive today that was responsible for Irish oppression. So in that sense, I guess I am not particularly "nationalistic". But I am quite proud to be Irish. However, I don't believe that it is in any way superior to any other nationality. As for Europe, I consider Ireland's involvement in the EU to have been invaluable to us. Seriously like, where would we be without it? I mean honestly. So yes I would consider myself European.

The other consideration for my identity is sexual orientation. I am gay. Is this important to me? Not as much as you might think. If you've read my post on gay marriage, you will see that I tend to disagree with "mainstream" gay opinion on the matter. I regularly contend that proper CP legislation is perfectly adequate, and that the fight for the word "marriage" should be dropped. This leads to the logical conclusion that my sexual orientation isn't that important to me. I guess that is a fair assumption. I am in no way ashamed of being gay. However, I have had to ask myself just how important it is to my identity? It seems to be something which many people place huge emphasis on in relation to their identity. Perhaps I could be accused of placing too little. But it just doesn't feel like a very important factor to me. Yes, it makes me different. But how much influence should it have on my overall identity? I'll give you an example. People have said to me in the past that "you should support Sinn Fein, because they are the party that best promotes gay rights!". Others have said I should join the Unitarian Church because they are very gay affirming. Yes, Sinn Fein do support gay rights very admirably. But I disagree with them on many fundamental political issues, and wouldn't dream of voting for them! Similarly, I have had wonderful experiences with Unitarians. Some of their fundamental spiritual beliefs directly conflict with my own though. so how could I join their church? Merely because they are pro gay? I don't think so. Now before anyone gets ready to beat me with the "internalised homophobia" stick, please listen. I am not ashamed of being gay. I would not tolerate any form of discrimination against myself or the wider LGBT community. I tend to disagree sometimes on what exactly counts as discrimination, but that's about it. I just don't feel it should be the biggest discerning factor in my identity and my subsequent beliefs and actions.

The last one I had was religion. I think that my Christianity is probably the most important to me, out of all the factors listed. For me is shapes who I am far more than my gender, nationality or sexual orientation. It forms the basis of my personal morality and principles. The things on the list which friends described me as, such as kind, a good listener, open minded, etc, for me stem from my Christian beliefs. I strive to achieve these things. Similarly, I believe in things like justice and fairness for the same reason. Now lest any atheists or non Christians get offended, I'm not saying Christians have the monopoly on morals or good works. We're talking about my identity, remember?

So having weighed up all those things, have I reached a definitive answer on identity? Nope, not a chance. However, the point of the exercise is to make you think about your identity, and how it makes you relate to others. Do our perceptions of our own identity impact on how we interact with others? If, for example, nationality plays a huge part in our identity, do we then allow this to colour our attitude to other nationalities in a negative way? The same can be said of religion. Does this impact on our personality? For me, I think my identity and personality are linked in many ways. The factors I outlined above are important in making up my identity. But they are in no way definitive. There are many other things which contribute. So to answer the question "What am I?". Well, I am me. That's the thing we have to remember about identity; we are all different, no matter what we have in common. And we need to respect that. Rather than compromising our identity, respecting those that differ will enrich it.

http://www.kalimunro.com/declaration-of-self-esteem.html

Mini Musings: Materialism gone mad...

All that use of the word marriage in the previous post has gotten me thinking about something which provoked/amused/appalled me earlier today. On the subject of weddings, my sister in law's mother was telling us over tea how she was going to a wedding of some cousin at the end of August. All very lovely indeed. Sure who doesn't love a good wedding? They eventually got around to the subject of acceptable amounts of money to give as a wedding present, to which point her mother pointed out that the last wedding she attended all the guests contributed 200 euro. Having managed the tricky task of navigating between choking on my tea and splurting it out all over the cat, I increduously asked was she mad. She replied that this appeared to be the standard amount people were giving these days. And when couples had lists of gifts they would like, they tended to average out around that mark too. I mean really. That's about two thirds of a minimum wage earner's weekly pay packet! Not to mention, you know, the R-Word. However when you consider the exorbitant amounts of money that people are spending on weddings these days, they probably need it to cover the costs. Banks certainly won't throw that kind of money at you now. Seriously though, who needs a ten grand wedding? Isn't marriage supposed to a momentous religious event/symbol of two people's love for each other/tax break, depending on your perspective? I would have thought all three would have warranted less materialistic indulgence. Next wedding I attend will get a sodding toaster and have done with it.