Identity crisis...

Seeing as the theme of this week seems to be the notion of "identity", I've decided to have a stab at exploring mine. I suppose the first question to be considered is "What is identity?". Me, being the pedantic Anglophile that I am, decided to look for a specific definition to start with. The Oxford English Dictionary has this to offer:

identity

• noun (pl. identities) 1 the fact of being who or what a person or thing is. 2 the characteristics determining this. 3 a close similarity or affinity.

So for the purposes of the exercise at hand, I think 1 and 2 are the most relevant. So one needs to consider the fact of being who or what a person is, and the characteristics which determine this. An exercise which is far easier in theory than practice, I have discovered...

So what is me? What is the essence of my being? What defines me? In short, who AM I? I struggled to find a simple or definitive answer. Which is a good thing, because I don't think it is a simple or definitive question. In my struggle to overcome my effective writer's block on the situation, I began to formulate what is essentially a list of adjectives to describe myself. What is interesting is what happens when I begin to consider how important each is to my perception of my own identity.

Well I suppose the first logical thing that is noticeable about me is I am a woman. As soon as I open my mouth it becomes abundantly clear that I'm Irish. And therefore, I am by default European. I am also gay. I consider myself to be a religious person, specifically Christian. Until recently, I would have narrowed that down to Catholic; however that is currently under revision. Hmm, maybe I'll bore you with that next...

Anyway, the were some of the main factors I could come up with for defining identity. The appear to be areas such as gender, nationality, nationality, religion and sexual orientation. Other things I could come up with seemed to correspond more closely with personality traits. Not being a completely narcissistic individual, I did ask for feedback from friends. The list they and I came up with is as follows:

*Intelligent,
*Religious,
*Talkative,
*Caring,
*Friendly,
*Open-minded
*Strong principles, but respects others
*Respectful
*Good listener
*Kind
*Smart
*Tolerant
*Good friend
*Sees all points of view in argument

Those adjectives would describe accurately describe my personality, I believe. But is personality the same as identity? Perhaps so. A friend who blogged on this subject recently said he believed the two were not mutually exclusive (http://stephenspillane.com/blog/). I would be inclined to agree. In fact, I think identity probably influences our personality, and therefore our beliefs and actions. Take me for example (well I'm not exactly qualified to speak for anyone else, am I?). Taking the factors I identified (ha, see what I did there) earlier in order, I evaluated their relevance to my identity as I see it. So first of all, there was gender. I am a woman. No denying that. But the key question I had to ask was: Is being a woman important to me? It is a fundamental part of who I am. I identify as female, in so far as I don't identify as male. What I mean is, I don't feel being a woman is the most important thing about me, but to say it isn't a defining factor would be ridiculous. I don't see myself as being either inferior or superior to my male counterparts. I wholeheartedly support equality, but wouldn't consider myself exactly feminist. That's where I feel identity impacts on personality and beliefs.


Next on the list was nationality. Yes, I am Irish. Again, I had to ask: is this important to me? I quite like being Irish, no doubt about it. However, I have often gotten in trouble with friends and exes alike for being too fond of the Brits. I'll admit it: I am a self confessed Anglophile. I love English culture, language, literature, humour, comedy, you name it. Do I approve of the colonisation and plantation of Ireland? No I don't. Do I feel that Ireland has a right to sovereignty? Yes I do. Do I think the "800 years of oppression" Brit-bashing of some Irish people today is ridiculous? Yes, I most certainly do. Find me one person in Britain alive today that was responsible for Irish oppression. So in that sense, I guess I am not particularly "nationalistic". But I am quite proud to be Irish. However, I don't believe that it is in any way superior to any other nationality. As for Europe, I consider Ireland's involvement in the EU to have been invaluable to us. Seriously like, where would we be without it? I mean honestly. So yes I would consider myself European.

The other consideration for my identity is sexual orientation. I am gay. Is this important to me? Not as much as you might think. If you've read my post on gay marriage, you will see that I tend to disagree with "mainstream" gay opinion on the matter. I regularly contend that proper CP legislation is perfectly adequate, and that the fight for the word "marriage" should be dropped. This leads to the logical conclusion that my sexual orientation isn't that important to me. I guess that is a fair assumption. I am in no way ashamed of being gay. However, I have had to ask myself just how important it is to my identity? It seems to be something which many people place huge emphasis on in relation to their identity. Perhaps I could be accused of placing too little. But it just doesn't feel like a very important factor to me. Yes, it makes me different. But how much influence should it have on my overall identity? I'll give you an example. People have said to me in the past that "you should support Sinn Fein, because they are the party that best promotes gay rights!". Others have said I should join the Unitarian Church because they are very gay affirming. Yes, Sinn Fein do support gay rights very admirably. But I disagree with them on many fundamental political issues, and wouldn't dream of voting for them! Similarly, I have had wonderful experiences with Unitarians. Some of their fundamental spiritual beliefs directly conflict with my own though. so how could I join their church? Merely because they are pro gay? I don't think so. Now before anyone gets ready to beat me with the "internalised homophobia" stick, please listen. I am not ashamed of being gay. I would not tolerate any form of discrimination against myself or the wider LGBT community. I tend to disagree sometimes on what exactly counts as discrimination, but that's about it. I just don't feel it should be the biggest discerning factor in my identity and my subsequent beliefs and actions.

The last one I had was religion. I think that my Christianity is probably the most important to me, out of all the factors listed. For me is shapes who I am far more than my gender, nationality or sexual orientation. It forms the basis of my personal morality and principles. The things on the list which friends described me as, such as kind, a good listener, open minded, etc, for me stem from my Christian beliefs. I strive to achieve these things. Similarly, I believe in things like justice and fairness for the same reason. Now lest any atheists or non Christians get offended, I'm not saying Christians have the monopoly on morals or good works. We're talking about my identity, remember?

So having weighed up all those things, have I reached a definitive answer on identity? Nope, not a chance. However, the point of the exercise is to make you think about your identity, and how it makes you relate to others. Do our perceptions of our own identity impact on how we interact with others? If, for example, nationality plays a huge part in our identity, do we then allow this to colour our attitude to other nationalities in a negative way? The same can be said of religion. Does this impact on our personality? For me, I think my identity and personality are linked in many ways. The factors I outlined above are important in making up my identity. But they are in no way definitive. There are many other things which contribute. So to answer the question "What am I?". Well, I am me. That's the thing we have to remember about identity; we are all different, no matter what we have in common. And we need to respect that. Rather than compromising our identity, respecting those that differ will enrich it.

http://www.kalimunro.com/declaration-of-self-esteem.html